That Asshole Is Your Guru

You might think only other people project. Be assured, you’re wrong. Our brains are doing some pretty sketchy things without our knowledge. It’s time to take a look.

“I hate my sister,” she screamed. “She is so angry and judgmental!” Who exactly is angry and judgmental?

Whenever you spot an obnoxious person, he is giving you a gift. Everyone who inflames your vision shows you your guilt. An unpleasant person gives you a chance to clear away a heavy burden. Every jerk shows you what you have deemed unforgivable within yourself.

Every asshole you meet is your teacher.

Rule one: Assume you are projecting whenever you are angry or hateful — it’s the fastest way to discover the hidden, incredible, and humbling truth within. Stopping and looking for projection inside us teaches us to reflect within rather than out at others.

Rule two: Identify the “essence of ‘asshole.’” This rather pungent serum distills your hate for the objectionable person. What exactly do I hate about this person? Start boiling down the essence of your hate now.

Rule three: Be open and vulnerable. It takes lethal honesty, especially at the start. While you’re mentally handling the “essence of asshole,” ask: Have I ever been guilty of the same thing in any form? Hint: you have, but it might be hiding.

Rule four: Don’t give up. Your desire to uncover the objectionable person in yourself is close, but it may take days to crack open the truth. Then, the work is inward:

“I am just like my mother!” // “I am just like that person I hate at work!” And so on. But now, projection is over.

When you have stopped the devious merry-go-round of projection, you can look within where guilt can heal; kind thoughts will bring understanding, connection, and laughter.